Post by Nurika on Apr 24, 2003 13:48:46 GMT -5
Ok, I posted this on Fictionpress.net so I just want you all to tell me what you think, if you read it of course. 
Thankyou!
The Search For the Lost Gemstones
Hopefully, everyone will like this original story of mine, as I did take a long time on it. It's my first time, so hopefully people would enjoy my work. After your done reading it, please if you could, Review it. Thankyou and enjoy.
When text is italized/slanted, it means the character is thinking.
Anything in between (), means I'm remarking something.
Anything in between the **, means it's an action or an explanation.
Anything in with this ==, means it's a change of time.
Anything in between the "", means it's a character is talking.
Chapter 1/The Lands of Mystery (PART 1)
The sky was raven black, as it was full of ravens. But, these ravens were what mankind had never saw before. Their eyes were blood-red. Sharp teeth sticking out of its beak. Sharp, yellow claws, connecting at the ends of its feet. With wings that have the widespan of an eagles'. It caused horrific disruption among the villages nearby. The ravens were clawing and gnawing at everything with their claws and teeth. Mankind was petrified at the sight of these carnivours. They had never seen such things as this. Not only were the ravens like this, but all the other animals of the world were like this too. The animals speard all around the world, and soon controlled it. "THEIR THE DEVIL!! THE DEVIL!!" some peasant would shout uncontrollably pointing at the sky that was no more. The animals seemed indestructable! People tried killing those hideous beasts, but nothing seemed to work. Mankind was devastaded by the fact, a mere animal can defeat mankind. What happened to the sorcerors of light magick? In fact the sorcerors of light did come up with ideas. Using their magick, they concealed them in a land where no one knows, or goes. "The Forbidden Land", locked with a hidden emerald gemstone shaped in a tall staff, carved with a star-shape on top. Located in front of "Snuffy Cliff" of Arkia. All together there were, five sorcerors. Each one of them had a gemstone. Ruby, Amethyst, Sapphire, Garnet, and the Emerald. The eldest sorceror placed the Emerald staff in a hold in the ground. All the other socerors would now, place their stones around the staff. They chanted a spell and all the animals were back to normal again.
Everyone thought it was safe again to go out into the light. But they never knew, their freedom would not last. Two years later, after the incident, a new pair of sorcerors came. They were dark sorcerors, who bid dark magick on the lands. The sorcerors of light heard of the dark sorcerors and dark magick slowly speard among the lands. Afraid, the dark sorcerors would soon find the gemstones, the sorcerors of light trained three young sorcerors to protect and defend the lands, and the world. But it was too late, the dark sorcerors found the gemstones and released the dark magick back into the animals. The Ruby controlled the Wolves. Amethyst controlled the Gorillas. Sapphire controlled the Dragons. Garnet controlled the Unicorns. The Emerald, controlled all the other animals. The animals were dark again. The training still continued, as the five sorcerors of light would soon come to an end of their lives. Two years later, three young sorcerors of light came to save the lands, and put them back safety. Lilia of the Neverlands, Scott of Rucku, and Yoko of Narnus. "....As we did what we can to teach you our ways, do the best you can to save the world. Remember, working together is the key to survival. Gather the emerald staff back to Snuffy Cliff of Arkia and do not bring damage to it. For if you do, the world would be in darkness forever. Do bring damage to the other four gemstones, as it will relief the animals...Believe in yourselves, young ones..." Those, were the last words of the five sorcerors of light, as it was their death.
These were the days, were sorcery ruled the world. Where dragons and unicorns roam freely on own lands. Where the world was sperated in four different lands. The Neverlands, Rucku, Narnus, and Arkia.
===================================================
*Yawn* "Iam so tired. When are we going to get to the Neverlands?" a tired voice seeps out. "Scott, stop complaining and moving your feet." Lilia responds annoyingly. "Plus, it's only two more miles before you reach the Neverlands, my homeland. It's a great place."
"You mean, was a great place." Yoko resounds from his silence.
"I know. I miss my homeland. But now that I'm actually able to come back to it after two years...it's destroyed."
"Same here." agrees Scott.
The three sorcerors were heading from Arkia to Lilia's homeland, the Neverlands. They were taken out of their own homelands to go training as a sorceror of light at Arkia. None of them know what happened to their own family. It has been two years. They have gone through alot together, and supported one another during training. Lilia was usually the one with the good ideas and wise advice. Scott had the funny bone and always lightened up the group. Yoko is quiet and quite mature, but he does have a wise mouth. Together, the young sorcerors have been traveling to the Neverlands for a week, and they would reach their destination in two hours or so, depending on how many breaks they take, or how fast or slow they walk.
"Let's take another break, OK?" Scott complains again.
"Why don't we just take a break every minute?!" Lilia responds in an agravated voice.
"That would be great!"
"ARRUGGH!! Sometimes I wish I could strangle you! You always the one that slows up everyone!"
"Well, excuse me? Your the one that stops for "beauty sleeps"." "WHY YOU!!"
"STOP. Remember we have to work together to get through this. So we'll take a vote." Yoko replies from the ruckus.
"Two out of three. I win!" Scott yells victoriously.
"Shutup!" Lilia screams dissapointedly.
"Lilia, calm yourself down. I understand you want to reach your homeland, but your going to have to take patience. You can't only care for yourself. You have to rely and think of others too." Yoko says in a soft voice.
"Yea, Lilia." Scott agrees sarcastically.
"Shutup you mongroul! Noone was talking to you!" Lilia shouts at Scott.
"See what I mean? You must learn to work out with Scott, and at the same time, don't only worry about your own needs."
"Yes, I understand Yoko. And I know, I know. Iam self-centered. But I mean I just want to get to the Neverlands. I'm just homesick..."
After a half an hour break, the young sorcerors were soon on their way again towards the Neverlands.
Well, hopefully everyone enjoyed that beginning as I will be writing more of it. Please review and tell me what you think of my story. Thankyou for your time and patience. =D
Thankyou!The Search For the Lost Gemstones
Hopefully, everyone will like this original story of mine, as I did take a long time on it. It's my first time, so hopefully people would enjoy my work. After your done reading it, please if you could, Review it. Thankyou and enjoy.
When text is italized/slanted, it means the character is thinking.
Anything in between (), means I'm remarking something.
Anything in between the **, means it's an action or an explanation.
Anything in with this ==, means it's a change of time.
Anything in between the "", means it's a character is talking.
Chapter 1/The Lands of Mystery (PART 1)
The sky was raven black, as it was full of ravens. But, these ravens were what mankind had never saw before. Their eyes were blood-red. Sharp teeth sticking out of its beak. Sharp, yellow claws, connecting at the ends of its feet. With wings that have the widespan of an eagles'. It caused horrific disruption among the villages nearby. The ravens were clawing and gnawing at everything with their claws and teeth. Mankind was petrified at the sight of these carnivours. They had never seen such things as this. Not only were the ravens like this, but all the other animals of the world were like this too. The animals speard all around the world, and soon controlled it. "THEIR THE DEVIL!! THE DEVIL!!" some peasant would shout uncontrollably pointing at the sky that was no more. The animals seemed indestructable! People tried killing those hideous beasts, but nothing seemed to work. Mankind was devastaded by the fact, a mere animal can defeat mankind. What happened to the sorcerors of light magick? In fact the sorcerors of light did come up with ideas. Using their magick, they concealed them in a land where no one knows, or goes. "The Forbidden Land", locked with a hidden emerald gemstone shaped in a tall staff, carved with a star-shape on top. Located in front of "Snuffy Cliff" of Arkia. All together there were, five sorcerors. Each one of them had a gemstone. Ruby, Amethyst, Sapphire, Garnet, and the Emerald. The eldest sorceror placed the Emerald staff in a hold in the ground. All the other socerors would now, place their stones around the staff. They chanted a spell and all the animals were back to normal again.
Everyone thought it was safe again to go out into the light. But they never knew, their freedom would not last. Two years later, after the incident, a new pair of sorcerors came. They were dark sorcerors, who bid dark magick on the lands. The sorcerors of light heard of the dark sorcerors and dark magick slowly speard among the lands. Afraid, the dark sorcerors would soon find the gemstones, the sorcerors of light trained three young sorcerors to protect and defend the lands, and the world. But it was too late, the dark sorcerors found the gemstones and released the dark magick back into the animals. The Ruby controlled the Wolves. Amethyst controlled the Gorillas. Sapphire controlled the Dragons. Garnet controlled the Unicorns. The Emerald, controlled all the other animals. The animals were dark again. The training still continued, as the five sorcerors of light would soon come to an end of their lives. Two years later, three young sorcerors of light came to save the lands, and put them back safety. Lilia of the Neverlands, Scott of Rucku, and Yoko of Narnus. "....As we did what we can to teach you our ways, do the best you can to save the world. Remember, working together is the key to survival. Gather the emerald staff back to Snuffy Cliff of Arkia and do not bring damage to it. For if you do, the world would be in darkness forever. Do bring damage to the other four gemstones, as it will relief the animals...Believe in yourselves, young ones..." Those, were the last words of the five sorcerors of light, as it was their death.
These were the days, were sorcery ruled the world. Where dragons and unicorns roam freely on own lands. Where the world was sperated in four different lands. The Neverlands, Rucku, Narnus, and Arkia.
===================================================
*Yawn* "Iam so tired. When are we going to get to the Neverlands?" a tired voice seeps out. "Scott, stop complaining and moving your feet." Lilia responds annoyingly. "Plus, it's only two more miles before you reach the Neverlands, my homeland. It's a great place."
"You mean, was a great place." Yoko resounds from his silence.
"I know. I miss my homeland. But now that I'm actually able to come back to it after two years...it's destroyed."
"Same here." agrees Scott.
The three sorcerors were heading from Arkia to Lilia's homeland, the Neverlands. They were taken out of their own homelands to go training as a sorceror of light at Arkia. None of them know what happened to their own family. It has been two years. They have gone through alot together, and supported one another during training. Lilia was usually the one with the good ideas and wise advice. Scott had the funny bone and always lightened up the group. Yoko is quiet and quite mature, but he does have a wise mouth. Together, the young sorcerors have been traveling to the Neverlands for a week, and they would reach their destination in two hours or so, depending on how many breaks they take, or how fast or slow they walk.
"Let's take another break, OK?" Scott complains again.
"Why don't we just take a break every minute?!" Lilia responds in an agravated voice.
"That would be great!"
"ARRUGGH!! Sometimes I wish I could strangle you! You always the one that slows up everyone!"
"Well, excuse me? Your the one that stops for "beauty sleeps"." "WHY YOU!!"
"STOP. Remember we have to work together to get through this. So we'll take a vote." Yoko replies from the ruckus.
"Two out of three. I win!" Scott yells victoriously.
"Shutup!" Lilia screams dissapointedly.
"Lilia, calm yourself down. I understand you want to reach your homeland, but your going to have to take patience. You can't only care for yourself. You have to rely and think of others too." Yoko says in a soft voice.
"Yea, Lilia." Scott agrees sarcastically.
"Shutup you mongroul! Noone was talking to you!" Lilia shouts at Scott.
"See what I mean? You must learn to work out with Scott, and at the same time, don't only worry about your own needs."
"Yes, I understand Yoko. And I know, I know. Iam self-centered. But I mean I just want to get to the Neverlands. I'm just homesick..."
After a half an hour break, the young sorcerors were soon on their way again towards the Neverlands.
Well, hopefully everyone enjoyed that beginning as I will be writing more of it. Please review and tell me what you think of my story. Thankyou for your time and patience. =D
